Periods and Other Things
by Roofran411
Summary: Piers wakes up on his own and is surprised to realise how selfish he is and that he doesn't like himself for it.


Much has been made of Petruchio's childishness. I feel from various aspects, that he is an intelligent educated man but one who has not only been emotionally damaged quite badly but also been thoroughly spoilt by a doting father and grandparents. He has never been taught responsibility or consideration for others, has been allowed to throw temper tantrums and is accustomed to his own way in everything.

Unaccustomed to having his actions questioned, he didn't see why anyone should object to what he wore to his wedding. When Kate (also extremely spoilt) lost her temper, he retaliated then found he didn't like the result; that bullying by either is not acceptable and he wanted Kate to be nice to him.

The beginning of his maturing began with the loss of his father and the discovery that he cared about his ancestry and with his determination to hold on to his family home.

The realisation that he had responsibility for Kate and more, that he wanted that responsibility is a further step towards that maturity and repairing of his emotional damage.

The song I hear with this is Gene Pitney's "Something's Gotten Hold of My Heart.

Some thing's gotten hold of my heart,

Keeping my soul and my senses apart.

Something's gotten hold of my life

Cutting its way through my dreams like a knife.

Turning me up, turning me down

Making me smile, making me frown.

I n a world that was small

I once lived in a time that was peace and no troubles at all.

But you came my way

And a feeling unknown shook my heart

Made me want you to stay

All of my nights and all of my days.

Something's gotten hold of my hand

Dragging my soul to a beautiful land

Yeah something has invaded my night

Painting my sleep with a colour so bright

Changing the gray and changing the blue,

Scarlet for me, scarlet for you

I got to know if this the real thing

I got to know it's making me sing

Wohoohee, you smile and I am lost for a lifetime

Every hour and every day you touch me

And my heart goes astray.

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Periods and Other Things

I woke with a start, I turned to hold Kate but she was gone. I was on my own. I stretched my hand across the bed, it was cold. I looked at the bedside clock and was surprised. It was not yet seven. During the week, when Kate has to go to the Commons, we are up before seven, Saturday a little later but still early because of Kate's constituency surgery but Sunday was our day for a lie-in.

I called her but there was no reply so she wasn't in the bathroom. I got out of bed and crossed the still dark room, out onto the landing.

"Kate, where are you?"

"In the kitchen." she called back.

"Oh, are you up or are you coming back to bed?"

"I'm up" she said.

Oh! I was taken aback! Sunday morning we made love. Well, we made love every night, sometimes mornings too. But we had decided that Sundays were special. To stay in bed, to make love, just be together.

Oh well, I might as well get up, I thought, so I got dressed and went downstairs.

She was in the kitchen, leaning against the sink.

"You O.K?"

"Yeah" she said.

She didn't look it.

"Want some breakfast?" she asked.

"That would be very nice."

I put the kettle on for tea. Something wasn't right. I don't know what it was but something not right somehow. I laid the table while she cooked bacon and eggs, tomato, toast. We had been married three weeks and had made love every night and morning... and sometimes in between if we could.

So she didn't feel like it this morning. She put breakfast in front of me. I ate it glumly, a leaden lump of disappointment in my stomach: she didn't want to, Kate was so warm and loving, it was so good with us, when I noticed she wasn't eating.

"You not having anything, my love?"

"No, I'm just having a bit of toast this morning." she said. I looked at her thoughtfully, her appetite was not as big as mine but she did eat well.

"You sure you're OK?

"Yes." she pushed back her chair.

"Won't be a minute." she said and I watched her as she went across the hall and up the stairs. She stopped half way up clung onto the rail, then went on slowly, hanging on as she did. Quietly I went after her. She was in the bathroom taking something out of the cabinet. I watched as she twisted in a spasm of pain.

"What's the matter Kate?" She jumped, she hadn't heard me. "Nothing" She looked pale and frail, white with dark circles around her eyes. She was holding something behind her. An awful thought struck me. Christ, she wasn't on something, was she?

I've been around a bit, smoked a bit of pot at Uni, but never did anything stupid, seen others who did though.

She wouldn't, would she?

I would know, I would have noticed, wouldn't I?

"What have you got in your hand?"

"Nothing." I moved fast and held her wrist, twisting it slightly till she dropped what she was holding.

"For God's sake, it's only paracetomol."

And it was only paracetomol. Feeling a bit of a fool and more than a bit of a brute, I said sharply "If there's nothing wrong, why are you taking it?"

"Oh for God's sake Piers," she sounded desperate. "For God's sake, it's my period."

"Oh, oh!" You could have knocked me down.

Whatever I had thought before, this really floored me. I looked at her. She had turned away from me.

A dull red flush was spreading up her throat into her face, and mine. I was embarrassed but she, my Kate, was mortified. She was still turned away from me deeply upset.

"Um ...um...is it ... does it hurt...is it always like this?"

She turned towards me but still not looking at me.

"The first day... is... pretty bad ...I dope myself up with painkillers...and the 2nd day is not so bad and then it's O.K".

I pushed the packet back towards her."Here take your tablets. I'll make you a nice cup of tea."

"Had to get up...I mean if you woke up, you would have wanted ... And I can't ...don't feel very...

When it started ... I knew ... If I stayed and... "

"Sshh Sshh" I tucked her hair behind her ear, wrapped my arms around her." It's O.K, my love. Do you want to go back to bed? Shall I make you a hot water bottle? Cup of tea?" She nodded.

We went back through the archway into our bedroom and I went downstairs.

I put the kettle on and rummaged around for a hot water bottle and thought.

When I went back upstairs, she had changed into a decrepit old pair of pyjamas that I hadn't seen before and was loosely plaiting her hair. She looked about 12.

"Come on, in you get." I gave her the bottle and tucked her in.

"Take your tablets and drink your tea. Would you like me to stay for a bit? "

She smiled, drank her tea and held my hand till she dozed off.

I went downstairs, made a cup of coffee and sprawled in the armchair and thought.

I am 38, I've had girlfriends.

_Of course _I was aware of periods, but I've always lived in an all male household. First home, Hazlington, just Dad and Grandpa, sharing with blokes at Uni, then flat sharing Harry. No sisters, had never lived with anyone, or had a serious long term relationship which would give me experience of this.

I had joked with mates about the" time of the month", all the usual chauvinistic male junk but had never known before how it could affect anyone the way it affected Kate.

How humiliated Kate had been having to tell me.

Surely women, this day and age, would not be embarrassed but Kate had been. Then the thought struck me, it would have been the same for her. All female home, no brothers, no partners, never had to explain anything to a man.

God! How bloody thick can you be, how dense.

And then:

There was more to this marriage lark than appeared.

More than wonderful sex on tap, more than someone you love being there, to come home to, to share fun and laughter with...

Somebody to think of, to care for.

I have never had to look after anyone, never had a pet, even as a child. The only dog at Hazlington, when I was a child, had been Grandpa's and he had looked after it till it died when I was quite young. The horses, they were my old man's and he had loved them.

And my old man...

Well, I wasn't around when he might have needed me. He didn't tell me, he wouldn't tie me down. I wish he ...he never told me...Never even had to think about anybody but myself. No responsibilities!

But now there was Kate.

Kate

I had wanted her the minute I saw her, incandescent with fury in the corridor outside Bianca's flat.

I wanted her when we were trapped together in the lift, wanted her so much that with the slightest encouragement, I would have shagged her there and then, in the lift.

Then there was the moment when I realised that it was more than just sex.

Clang was the right word!

_Falling in love_

Falling was the right word too.

Falling off a cliff.

She was the one I had been waiting for.

Everything about her.

Each day something entranced me, bound me tighter to her. So much joy, so much laughter, the arguments, the fight over our wedding, the battles of wits, the fun, who was going to win? The bickering, the teasing ... Intelligent, strong, feisty, tough, dainty, fragile. Everything about her,

Kate

My Kate

What had I promised a few weeks ago?

To love and to cherish.

Plastered, I had slurred "yeah, yeah" through my vows.

Well old son, you've had the loving, it's time for the cherishing.

My surprise was that I wanted to.

Now, stone cold sober, I realised that that is what I want to do, more than anything, for the rest of our lives.

To love and to cherish Kate. My Kate. My little Kate.

But there were other things to think about too: things in my own sweet selfish way, I had not given a single thought to, let alone discussed it with Kate. Conveniently "forgot" ... shut it out.

Yep! I had shut it out of my mind.

Because I was being selfish, because I was a bloody stupid irresponsible selfish bastard.

Kate said she would get up for some lunch. I lit the fire in the living room and we had some soup in there. She looked better, less pale. Afterwards we lay together on the sofa, arms around each other, she closed her eyes dozing, me watching the Grand Prix motor racing on the telly.

Only I wasn't really watching, thinking, wondering how to broach the subject.

I really don't understand why I should be tiptoeing around the subject: we're married! Anybody else, girlfriends, I would have asked before now.

Hah! At the beginning _and taken the initiative myself!_

And there's the question I should ask. So! Why _didn't_ I take the initiative? Well I knew the answer to that!

_I didn't want to!_

The first time was understandable because the way things happened because wanting her had driven every single other thought out.

God! Don't bloody lie, not to yourself! Admit it. Admit to yourself you never had any intention, even though the sodding things were in your bag. You made no attempt then, or since.

I wanted her desperately and I didn't want to, I didn't want to use the bloody things ...not with her, because I wanted the wonder of us ...wanted to feel her ...so I told myself I didn't need to, she was a career woman; she would've taken the responsibility herself.

So I deliberately shut it out.

I undid her hair and ran my fingers through it; my mind going round and round until without intending to, I heard myself murmur,

"You on the pill?"

A long pause, then without opening her eyes she murmured equally quietly, "No."

I had been so sure, so sure... but if I had been so sure, why did I have to ask? After a little while, I said awkwardly " You know, you must know, you do realise ...I haven't been using anything. You know... Durex."

Another long pause she said slowly, "Yes, yes of course I do, if I gave it any thought at all."

Another pause.

"Do you want me to?"

Another damn pause, then she shrugged.

"Do you want to?"

"No"

"Well then, what's your problem?"

Another long pause. "What if you get pregnant?"

These bloody pauses."So! We're married."

"What about your career?" My mouth was resting against her hair.

"Well" she said turning a little towards me. "I wouldn't be the first working mother. I wouldn't give up my career. "

I digested this, then thought some more while she put her arm around my waist and rested her head against me.

"I wouldn't expect you to."

I tightened my arms around her; I kissed her hair and stroked it.

I watched the racing for a while. I wasn't really watching it this time either.

"I suppose we should have talked about this before ...shouldn't we? I mean ... contraception."

"We did." she said.

I moved my head to look at her.

"_Did we_?" I said, quite astonished. "I don't remember."

"I do." she said. "I remember quite clearly." She was smiling the little smile that brought out her dimples. "_You_ said 'I want you to have all my babies.' If that is not a declaration of intent, I don't know what is."

She gave me a little squeeze and a nuzzling sort of kiss to my chest...

I twisted us a little so that she was on her back and I could see her face. her pretty little face with its brown velvet pansy eyes and swooping black eyebrows, her fine creamy skin , her mouth that I loved so much.

"Have I told you how much I love you today?"

"No, not yet.

I pushed my fingers through her hair lifting it and letting it fall again and again while she watched me.

I put my hand around her throat, sliding it down to her chest, stopped.

"Can I? Is it alright?

"Yes." she said softly and I undid the buttons of her tatty old pyjama jacket. The light tan from our honeymoon was fading but her breasts were so beautiful. I cupped one and the nipple hardened under the stroke of my thumb. My other arm was around her back feeling her skin while my mouth moved over her face. A jolt went through me and I was so hard with wanting her.

I pulled away. "I must stop, I want you so much. I must..."

"You don't have to"

"But?"

"There isn't any reason why. No real reason; if you want to ..."

I looked at her doubtfully.

"Will you be alright? You were so poorly this morning."

"I've taken some painkillers...perhaps you won't want to? The blood...it's just... a bit messy." She pulled a little face.

"Do you think I care about that? Are you sure?" God, I must be the most selfish sod imaginable?

"Do you think I don't want you too?" she said softly and pushed her hands up inside my jumper then down to undo the fly of my jeans. Sliding her hands inside, she cupped my balls gently caressing, and squeezing my cock, stroking and pumping the length of it till I was groaning."Get it out Kate."

"Wait. I'll get some towels and um... sort things out."

She came back to me, we spread the towels and I watched while she slipped off her pyjamas and came back into my arms, touching me and kissing me. Kate, Kate.

"Kate, Kate," I lay on her kissing her open mouth, my tongue finding hers.

"Kate, Kate, I want to be in you." The words tore out of me and I groaned as the waves began to pound through me , she made a little movement and I moved to put my cock in her, held her and thrust into...oh God. Into her...into her, into her wetness, into her tightness, the suction drawing me. Oh God she was so tight. I wanted to be gentle with her, but could not, my need was too great. Thrusting, pumping, the sweat running down my back, holding her tight under me feeling her arch to me over and over, hearing through the pounding of my heart, her soft moans, my own gasps wrenched from my throat until the torrent burst and all I was aware of was my swollen throbbing cock, pumping, pouring, fucking her.

I lay still on her, my head resting on hers, breathless, wordless.

"You O.K?" I murmured. "Mmm" She ran her fingers softly through my hair.

"Oh, that was so good." she said softly, "my beloved, my dearest love."

"It was wonderful. I needed you so much." I whispered, then I said "Am I heavy?"

I knew that I must be. I reached over her and found her pyjamas and helped her into them, held her.

Such a tiny scrap, I could feel how light she was, how delicately boned.

"You are so small. I could snap you in two."

"I'd like to see you try."

"I think we have been over this before."

"You have an inflated view of your superiority."

"No! I just know I am bigger than you."

"Brain is preferable to brawn."

"Are you saying you're smarter than me?"

I knew she was, she was smarter than any one I knew but I wasn't going to say so.

"Now, who's the one with inflated superiority?"

I looked into her languorous brown velvet eyes and she smiled a little knowing smile and closed them.

"Have I told you how much I love you? I said.

"No, not yet."

"You haven't told me either."

"Haven't I?" she said "Shall I start first? I love you, my most beloved. "

"And I love you, my dearest darling Kate."

And we just held each other, content.

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